Aired: October 21, 2009 — Topic: Hollywood

RANTINATION EXTREMIS!

Hey kids, it’s been a long time, but Uncle Trey is back, and is itchin’ for a fight! Let’s see what this ol’ dirty bastard has up his sleeve…

Whatever happened to original movies? Nowadays, Hollywood is throwing out remakes of everything, or making movies about video games, or comic books!

First of all- REMAKES OF MOVIES.

Now, I understand that sometimes the movies that are re-done either desperately need it, or are actual improvements to the original; case in point, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. These movies rule, no question about it- but what’s to stop Hollywood from trashing some of our favorite movies? Imagine every awesomely badass spaghetti western Clint Eastwood ever did being done by someone who WASN’T Clint Eastwood! Or John Wayne movies- I don’t wanna see someone play a role that “The Duke” did! Fuck no! John Wayne is a badass because he’s friggin’ JOHN WAYNE! You get some other clown playing John Elder from The Sons of Katie Elder, I will refuse to sit in the theater!

Secondly- VIDEO GAME MOVIES??

Really? I played the game through twelve times man- I KNOW what happens! Some of these movies are “okay” interpretations of the game- and some go off the deep end and have nothing to do with the game! In Example- House of the Dead. Awesome video game in arcades- lousy fuckin’ movie. Resident Evil- game was scary as shit, but the movie had nothing to do with the game series at all! Alice was NEVER apart of the story! So what the hell man?!

Thirdly- COMIC BOOK MOVIES.

Now, I already mentioned the new Batman movies above, and yes I know- Batman is a comic book character. But there are two seperate movie series of Batman, and the newest ones are remakes of the old Batman movies by Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher ::sidenote- Schumacher, you dirty scumbag…:: but Hollywood is getting WAY out of hand with this whole shpeel of making comic book movies, and are especially riding Marvel comics all over the damn place. First it was X-Men, then Spider Man, and those movies were alright. But then they started cranking out sequels and prequels like a white trash whore cranks out kids just so she can get a bigger welfare check! Now we have so many comic book movies that the novelty of seeing some of our heroes large and in charge on the big screen is wearing off and getting really old, really quick.

In the early 1980’s, a couple of guys by the name of Ivan Reitman and Dan Ackroyd went into Paramount Pictures with an idea so bizarre and off the wall, that nowadays it would get laughed out of the studio! But back then, the producers and the company took a chance, and today we are able to enjoy an amazing classic that is STILL one of the coolest movies around- GHOSTBUSTERS. Where did all the creativity go? When did Hollywood start caring about making shit tons of money at the expense of making good, original movies? Why can’t they do both?? It’s upsetting my friends. Upsetting…

Well, that’s it from me, troopers! See you next time!

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